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Does your mother seem to support your accomplishments ...
but only so she can talk about how great she is for having raised you?
But if your conflicts with your mother seem to go beyond what's normal and into an area that leaves you feeling sad, helpless, or bad about yourself, then the two of you may have a toxic relationship.
A toxic relationship is one based around anger, emotional manipulation, and other negative and hurtful feelings, instead of mutual support.
Or maybe your mom makes plans for your life without consulting you, and demands that you stick with them or else — like deciding that you're going to grad school, setting up interviews for you, and insisting that you attend them, even though you've never expressed any interest.
As Peg Streep, author of : "Daughters raised by dismissive mothers doubt the validity of their own emotional needs.
They feel unworthy of attention and experience deep, gut-wrenching self-doubt, all the while feeling intense longing for love and validation."Maternal dismissiveness can take lots of forms.
Though a lack of respect for boundaries is an issue in almost all toxic relationships, it can be particularly intense with mothers — especially mothers whose toxicity comes in the form of refusing to allow their child a separate identity.
Psychologists will often refer to people in this kind of relationship as "enmeshed" — unhealthily close, without a separate sense of self.