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---------------- Hospitals report that the hearts of bankers are in strong demand by transplant patients, because they’ve never been used.

Bankers don't think they're funny, normal people don't think they're jokes.

I'm kind of annoyed but I want you to think I'm easygoing!

You're kind of amazing, but I don't want you to KNOW I think you're amazing.

The Twilight co-stars began dating in 2008, before splitting in 2014, with the actress claiming the relationship became “not real life”.

It’s not that I want to hide who I am or hide anything I’m doing in my life,” she added.

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Definitely have NOT been checking my phone all day.

" The manager replies, "Start a large one and wait six months." ---------------- If you owe the bank £100, that's your problem.

You should crush on your lovely freinds by sending these lovely sms.

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