Purity christian dating

Whenever they’d sin, they’d confess to each other and make oaths to never let it happen again. Because of the shame, they never let anyone else in on what was happening.

In hindsight, Tim and Jess admit their courtship was a big cover-up of deceit. Many unmarried Christian couples struggle with sexual sin.

Married sex does not derive its thrill from the possibility of the unknown. It is based on mutual desire, and it dispenses with the ordinary rhythms of marital sex, trading them for a seemingly thrilling, but ultimately false, story.

This may be the way that the sin of premarital sex sticks with us most lastingly; it may be the twisted lesson it teaches us most convincingly: That sex derives its thrill from instability and drama.

Those two quotations sum up a lot about Christian chastity — it’s really important, and we really don’t like having to deal with it.

By chastity, I mean conforming your body and your sexual self to God’s vision of human sexuality as laid out in Scripture and articulated by church tradition — for married people, fidelity, and for unmarried people, abstinence. Simple: It’s difficult; and now, even more so than when Lewis wrote, we live in a society that does not give us much support for living chastely.

It is helpful to remember that chastity is a spiritual discipline — just one of many disciplines that, like prayer and fasting and practicing silence, the church has given us not because they get us into heaven, but because they help us to become new creatures; they help us align our wills with God’s will.

God’s ways are good, but Satan wants us to believe they aren’t.

In faith, you have become part of Christ’s body, and it is Christ through the Church, who must give you permission to join His body to another body. The place where the Church confers that privilege on you is the wedding; weddings are specific acts that grant us permission to have sex with one person. The New Testament makes clear that sex beyond the boundaries of marriage — the boundaries of communally granted sanction of sex — is simply off limits.

To have sex outside those bounds is to commit an offense against the body.

Everything in your relationship gets some of its charge from the uncertainty, the unknown. Married sex is exciting, but its excitements are very different, and much more tender, than the instability of the hook-up scene.

This may be the single most significant way that married sex — sex as it was created to be — differs from unmarried sex. The sex of blind dates and fraternity parties, even of relatively long-standing dating relationships has, simply, no normal qualities.

Leave a Reply