Red flags in dating violence

It should be noted, however, that just because a person may match one or more of these characteristics does not define them as an abuser.

These red flags are just that—warning signs that are worth looking out for and paying attention to: You should consider taking a pause before entering into a relationship with a partner who matches one of more of these warning sign.

Amy Borst, clinical director of the Orange County, Calif., domestic violence shelter Laura’s House, says that victims who find themselves with an abusive partner should also be aware of the warning signs that indicate the situation is escalating into a more violent one.

“There’s a shortening of time between abusive incidents, along with threats of physical or bodily harm,” says Borst.

You may notice that they bark at you for being five minutes late to a date.

Their mask may even slip to the point of unleashing full-on anger at you one night, but be oh-so apologetic the next day.

Another indicator is when the abuser obtains the means by which the threats are made, such as purchasing a gun.

Bottom line: If you feel threatened by your partner, don’t wait to get help.

Intimate partner violence and sexual violence are both serious and significant public health problems, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

That's more than two women a day who are killed by their partner.

"Seeing the signs" of an abuser implies that survivors carry some level of responsibility to prevent their own death.

They will raise you up high on a pedestal, saying how perfect you are and that they’ve never felt this way about anyone before.

They will pretend to like and dislike the exact things as you to forge an instantaneous bond. The abuser will watch you become so frenzied to the point of hysteria, then miraculously point to where the keys are – which happen to be a place you had looked half a dozen times – and claim, “Well, you didn’t look hard enough.” When in an abusive relationship, you won’t likely see the abuser’s full anger potential right away.

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